I was out from granny's house early in the morning at around 9.30am . I had to make my way to meeting boyfriend over at my godsister's place . No need for me to tell where her place is alright . There'll always be people who are kepo to know about everything . Ain't going to mention any names here because , the person is closely related to me . Well , reached godsister's house at around 10am then had a long talk with her , her boyfriend and my boyfriend . Was happily talking to them , at 11plus , my mum called , screaming and shouting at me over the phone . She said that I did not tell her that I'm going out and that she claimed that I am now a changed person . I changed for a reason . Not because of boyfriend but because I want to change . She keeps blaming my boyfriend for everything . Come on . This is not the way to treat others . They also have feelings . I know , my mum disapprove of me being together with him . Our age gap is too big for her . But , I believe that age are just numbers . If we're fated to be together , then we'll be . No point forcing me to leave him . You can't force love . He may seemed dirty and rubbish in the country but , he's changing now . For who ? For himself . I managed to change him from the old one till the new one . He used to get drunk and get high . But not anymore . He had stopped taking all those stuffs . He promised me he will stop . & I keep his promise throughout my life journey . Age isn't a matter at all . H e loved me , Cared for me and everything you would see any other couples do , he did the same thing . He protected me and showed me what is the meaning of love . I've finally found the meaning of love after so long of searching . Finally , he came into my life and brought along sunshine with him . He's now the sunshine of my life & my one and only .

He has the key to my heart . (:

THE REASON

Why I changed in a sudden , that must be in your thinking right now . I am trying to be independent now . Few more months and I'm 18 years old . I am old enough to take good care of myself . I'm not saying that I don't respect any of my parents anymore . I just need my own space to wander in the world outside there . I've been earning my own money since 6 months ago and that's not enough to show that I am independent at all . I am working in the same outlet as my parents and obviously , people may see me as a still few years old little pampered girl . I know this change is so sudden . Please mum , do understand my situation . I know I am harsh at times in terms of talking but all that was unintentional . It wasn't done on purpose . Like I say , I needed some space for myself too . I want to be like those kids outside whereby they are given curfews . At least they can go out and hang out with friends . I can't have you keeping me at home everyday . 24 hours x 7 days . I can't live that way . Maybe I used to have my life that way but not now . I want to see the outside world . 18 years old might be too young at age for some people but to me , I am considered old already . 2 more years and I'm 20 . When do you wan me to see the outside world ? At the age of 25 ??

I'm stressed enough now . I'm happy with love but not with family . I do understand them but they don't understand me at all . Loving a child is not only by giving love and keeping them close to you . But , to understand them and have trust . Keeping a child close is not a wrong thing to do but , always remember , everyone needs their own space at times . No point keeping your child with you and thinking that everything is fine but deep down in her heart , she's not feeling happy at all . Don't be selfish . A child has feelings too . I too have feelings . ):

Sorry if this post hurts any of your feelings . But that's what I feel . So , here I am letting out every bit of my feelings . The sorrowness , everything .

Love , Nurul Affiqah

Labels: spaces that i need